Today I’m going to show you how to think through an important decision.
You’re bombarded with decisions every day of the week.
But the process you use to decide what to have for dinner shouldn’t be the same one you use to decide:
- Whether you take that job in another state
- Get married to your significant other because “it’s time”
- If you want to have kids.
Thinking through important decisions and weighing the pros and cons *for yourself* is vital so you don’t end up living your life for other people.
Having a process increases your likelihood of making decisions that align with what you want for your life.
Unfortunately, most people don’t have a process for making important decisions.
They don’t take the time to stop and think about what they actually want.
We love shiny, new things.
And we don’t stop to think about what they look like after the new wears off.
We also don't take the time to stop and think about what we want because:
- We’ve been told what we should want, so we just go with that.
- Other people in our lives are *very* vocal about what they want, so we just go with that.
- It’s scary to stop and think about what we want.
- We don't know if what we want aligns with what other people in our lives want.
But if you’re not sure what you want, here's how you can figure that out.
Step 1: Make a list of the top 10 things that matter to you.
You get to choose what matters to you and what doesn’t.
It can be anything. A peaceful home. Your family. Your peace, values, and integrity. The ability to wake up and travel on a whim.
But when making this list ask yourself *why* these things matter to you.
- Do you want to get married because you want to have a wedding or because you want to do life with the same person until the end of your days?
- Do you want to have kids because you want a mini-me or do you want to be a parent and raise small humans into adults?
- Do you want a certain job because you want the title or because you want to do the work?
You get the idea. Why does this thing matter to you?
Step 2: Ask yourself what decision(s) get you closer to the things that matter to you.
So many people stumble when they get here because they’re thinking about what matters to other people.
- What will my friends think if I’ve been dating the same person for YEARS and we don’t get married?
- What will my family think if I don’t have kids?
- How will it look if I turn down that job?
We’re conditioned to think about how things look and not how they feel.
So, imagine what your life looks and feels like after you’ve made a decision. Day in and day out. The mundane, daily tasks that result from your decision.
Do you like what you see?
Vividly imagining how your life will feel, every day, can help you avoid falling into the trap of having a life that looks amazing, but feels miserable.
Step 3: Weigh the pros and cons of the decision(s) that get you closer to what matters to you.
You can make important decisions that will get you where you want to go.
Weighing the pros and cons of an important decision involves asking yourself how this decision will affect others in your life.
This matters, but it comes last because you have to figure out what matters to you first. It’s your life.
- So, make your list and figure out what matters to you.
- Then examine what decisions will get you closer to the things that matter.
- And finally, how will those decisions affect others in your life?
I can’t tell you how to weigh the pros and cons of how much your wants and needs matter compared to other people’s in your life.
But applying this process to help you think through an important decision will bring clarity.
And clarity will help you figure out what decisions you want to make and why.
Until next time,
Judnefera
